3 Ways a New Job Can Put Stress on Your Relationship (And What to Do About it)
There’s no doubt that the going through the process of getting a new job is stressful — and anything that can put a strain on an individual can put stress on a relationship as well. Here are a few issues that can crop up, and some things you can do to combat that and keep your relationship steady.
A lot of new jobs come with a change in income, which can always put strain on a relationship. Less money can mean altering your lifestyle as a couple or a family. There may have been loss of income when one person left their previous job, leaving a deficit that has to be made up for once the job has been acquired. If one partner is making more money than the other, this can lead to some resentment or the sense that one partner is carrying an unfair amount of the other’s weight. Even if the new job comes with more money, that can be stressful, too — where is this new income going to go? What are your priorities and values as a couple, and possibly as a family?
Take some time to make a budget. Try to do it when you’re both calm (or at least relatively unstressed), so you can speak objectively and practically. Remember to keep the best interests of both you and your partner at heart, but it’s important to state what you need as well — you don’t want to end up resenting one another.
Time Spent Together
Another natural consequence of a job change is that schedules change. Maybe the new job has very different hours from your partner’s, or maybe the job will just demand a lot more time and energy in the beginning. Maybe one partner used to work from home and doesn’t any longer, or vice versa. Regardless, changing schedules can be stressful, whether you’re spending less time together, more time together, or just altering the rhythm of your day-to-day life.
Schedules overlapping in the past may have made it easy for you to have a natural rhythm to your time together as a couple and take that for granted; when that changes, you may have to make more of an effort. If a new job means you might see one another less, compare schedules and put the effort in to carve out time for one another. If your schedules change so that you see one another more, establish boundaries where you need to and keep in mind that it might take some time to adjust.
Shifts in social groups
One of the aspects of a job that impacts your life the most is how it affects your social life. Many people’s friend groups are entirely intertwined with people they know from work and/or their partners. When you see your coworkers every day, they become an integral part of your life, for better or for worse. And since many people make friends through their partners, that change in your day-to-day interactions can have a significant impact on you both. Finding a new job and having new coworkers may necessitate both partners spending more time with new people and finding a way to fit themselves in to a new group, while potentially losing an old one.
Much as with making time to spend together, make time to spend with your old friends. If those connections are important to you, don’t neglect them; it’s very easy for friendships to grow more distant when you’re not putting a concerted effort in. Be open to new connections and friendships as well, while acknowledging that they may take time, and you and your partner may not necessarily connect as closely to these new people.
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