Be A Leading Lady: 3 Ways To Be A Better Partner

If you ask men and women what they want from a partner, you’ll get a lot of the same answers: someone who is a good communicator, who is honest, loving, and kind. Once you move past these essential traits, though, men and women tend to diverge. As Rita Watson writes in Psychology Today, women seek thoughtful behavior and generosity, while men want freedom and to be forgiven for mistakes. In other words, if, as women, we act based on what we want in a relationship, we likely won’t be fulfilling our partner’s needs — and the reverse applies as well.

To stand out as an exceptional girlfriend or wife, it’s important to identify the behaviors your spouse is craving and determine how they fit into your relationship. As with anything else in your relationship, being a great partner often comes down to compromise, but when you understand your partner’s perspective, it’s easier to find the perfect middle ground. Here are 3 ways you can get started.

Quality Over Quantity

After the honeymoon period of dating, many couples settle into a pattern that inadvertently prioritizes the quantity of time spent together over quality time — we stay home, watch movies, or just go about our separate lives while in the same place. For men, who often crave greater freedom in their relationships, though, this tendency to stay at home can feel like a rut — and they may start to go a little stir crazy.

One way to break out of this pattern is by focusing on spending quality time together as a couple, while emphasizing spending time with friends or engaging with hobbies — separately. Plus, the activities you do together will help you build special memories and can reignite that old date night feeling.

Ask For Help

We all need help sometimes, but too often asking for help turns into a combative situation. It’s why home improvement requests are frequently characterized as “honey-do” lists — because it’s viewed as a nagging expectation. By framing those requests differently, though, we give the men in our lives a chance to play hero. And when your partner does help you with something, accept that he’ll take his own approach. Especially when it comes to parenting, we sometimes set the men in our lives up to fail by insisting tasks be performed a certain way, and that doesn’t make anyone feel good.

Take Care Of You

It may seem counter to asking for help, but the fact is that none of us can be good partners if we aren’t taking care of ourselves. Our partners can’t make sure we get a good night’s sleep, eat regularly and stay hydrated, or take time for mindfulness — we have to do those things for ourselves. Individual stress and failure to engage in self-care will hurt our relationships, driving us feeling unfulfilled or prone to picking fights.

Next time you’re feeling short with your partner, take a step back. Have you been taking care of your own needs? If not, hit pause and take some time away from the conflict and encourage your partner to do the same. You’ll both come back to the table feeling better.

A great relationship can help us be our best selves, but it takes time and effort. Get started today with help from Emi. Daily text reminder offer the little push we all need to build positive relationship habits — because, in the long-term, it’s these little actions that matter most.

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